On the 31st March 2022, my best friend of 14 years, Indie, crossed the rainbow bridge with the compassionate guidance of Dr. Jeff Berkshire from Lifting Stars Veterinary Homecare. Indie had been my constant companion—a black Labrador with a gentle soul and an irreplaceable presence. While his health had been declining over the past few years, with two TPLO surgeries, osteoarthritis, and other age-related ailments, he always seemed to find the strength to bounce back. This time, though, I knew it was different.
Indie’s body was failing him. He could no longer rise without effort, his hearing was gone, and accidents in the house had started happening. What broke my heart the most was how devastated he seemed by those accidents—his expression told me everything I needed to know. He had stopped enjoying the things that used to bring him joy. Watching him lose his spark was more painful than words can describe. I knew the time was coming, but that didn’t make the decision any easier.
The day after I booked “the appointment,” I drove to Iona Beach, a place where Indie and I had shared many happy moments. But this time, I walked alone. I sobbed—deep, gut-wrenching sobs for the friend who had stood by me through so many seasons of life. Indie had been there when I lost my grandparents, celebrated my engagement, and later, my marriage. He had crossed the world with me when we moved to Canada. He wasn’t just my dog; he was my constant, my anchor. As I stood there, I cried not only for what had been but for the future moments he wouldn’t be part of.
In the week leading up to his final day, I made sure every moment counted. We did all the things Indie loved most—car rides, visits from friends, and indulging in all his favorite snacks. I took countless photos, even though every click of the camera felt like it was tearing my heart apart. Even now, 18 months later, I still struggle to look at those photos. When I do, I see my own grief reflected in them, and it feels like I’m back in that moment.
The morning of the appointment felt surreal, like I was floating through it on autopilot. I wanted Indie’s last day to be filled with joy, comfort, and all the things he loved most. So, we started the day with a trip to McDonald’s—burger, fries, and ice cream. He devoured it with the same vigor he always had, and for a moment, it felt like he was his younger self again. Afterward, we drove to the beach, a place he loved dearly. He dipped his paws in the ocean, his tail wagging softly, and we snuggled in the sand, soaking in the last precious moments together.
When we returned home, we spent time sitting on the grass in the early afternoon sun. The warmth of the rays felt comforting, like they were wrapping us in a gentle hug. Indie seemed so at peace in that moment, lying next to me as I stroked his fur and told him over and over how much I loved him.
When Dr. Jeff arrived, we moved inside to Indie’s favourite spot—his bed by the door, the place where he had always waited for us to come home. The process was gentle, compassionate, and full of love. Indie passed away peacefully, at home, surrounded by his people. It was the hardest goodbye I’ve ever had to say, but I took comfort in knowing that he left this world the same way he lived his life—with love and dignity.
I’m sharing this story because if you’re walking the heartbreaking path of saying goodbye to your best friend, I want you to know that you are not alone.
The grief feels endless at times, but so do the memories—the car rides, the cuddles, the quiet moments that meant everything. Cherish every single one of them.
When I look back on my time with Indie, I don’t just see the pain of losing him; I see the incredible gift of having him in my life. And for that, I am endlessly grateful.
– Katy Agnew
